Friends
About Me
436/F/Somerset
I’m not toxic, I just recognize patterns.
Not short, just small boned.
Interests:
- I enjoy dunking on people, their deficiencies & the many, many ways that they are wrong and/or lacking.
Fav music:
- Cryptopsy, Scriabin, David Koresh, 2pac, Ivo Papasov, Pantera, Oscar Peterson, Souls of Mischief, Sikth, Frank Bridge, Gravediggaz, Sex Pistols, World Under Blood
A PoC is speeking. Lissun & lern, honkies.
09:41 
Right, enough bollocks. I’m starting a new religion. It’s called ‘Shut The Fuck Up’ and it’s got two commandments:
1. Give me your wallet.
2. If your vibe’s shit, you get whipped
08:27
You can get 65% of a country to support ritual human sacrifice if you call it “love” and air a netflix doc about it
22:22
🦧: “We visited an ancient village in the countryside and honestly? We were shocked by the lack of taco trucks! Not a single matcha latte was had.. such a gaping cultural void.”
🦧: “That’s concerning.”
🦧: “Yes. Very pre-global. Where is the flavor? Where is the LA energy?”
22:20
Play in lydian b7 and watch the girl with the Qchord start glitching like a broken roomba
21:13
Musicians are the worst. they gotta be right down there on the Edelman Trust Barometer..
just above journalists, which are diet-termites w/ wifi
21:12
That camp little wrist flick electronic artists and DJs do after turning a knob during a “live set” ya know? The tweaker tick like they just skilfully euthanised the sacred dolphin of sound.
It’s just a potentiometer mapped to a macro that adjusts wet/dry reverb mix of a cracked Valhalla plugin, sends a MIDI CC to delay send or utility gain on a pre-bounced Ableton stem called “Feelings_2-FINAL FINAL.wav.” from 3 Tuesdays ago, 42 minute render playing off a 2018 Macbook. the music is playing itself while they LARP as a sorcerer and farm serotonin with nothing but a USB cable + the crushing weight of collective delusion. Latency manifesting as performance. Taking the piss.
23:07
Little boy dodges airstrikes and drinks floodwater from a boot. You have a podcast about “trauma”
Some farmer is eating dried glue and praying for rain. You are fat and cosplay on weekends.
19:29
Sometimes i think i’m the only one in this band with any sensitivity.
13:40
Poor Johnny. Tragic diagnosis innit, reverse-inebriation. AND an absolute nutjob to boot.
13:37
*rocks up to the tattoo parlour*
Gimme one of those biro tribal patterns that looks like it was designed in 2003 on a Nokia outside the chipshop, mate. The one that’s like a bluetooth signal escaping a microwave. Yeah, a fax machine from Guam.
I’m the donkey who’ll spend 800 quid for Wingdings on meth but can’t afford shampoo.
18:56
Crip walkin’ w/ my sword
12:34
Reverse Turing test where you can’t tell if someone has substituted their brain for a verified twitter account, or a literal NPC that just exists on a server somewhere
01:20
If i see anyone else holding up their phone with their bingo wing ass arm recording our entire set, blocking everyone else’s view so they can post a shitty 480p shaky video nobody will ever watch, I will slowly pry out each of your teeth using a teaspoon, and then replace them with cursed Chiclets that whisper “your mother never really loved you” every time you chew. Pack it in.
00:30
*rollin up to the mcdonalds drive thru*
Large friiiies mothafucka🫃
22:08
🫃Yoooo
09:51
Tourists and migrants who litter in the local forests should have their limbs removed and replaced with bicycle wheels that are cursed to squeak forever, no matter how much WD40 they use.
12:37
Boomers tuning in at six o’ clock:
21:48
“wHy aRe yOU aLwAyS juDgiNg pEoPle?” because i’ve met them, candace
12:23
Yeah i talk shit. but never behind your back. i do it in front of a crowd, with a mic and a powerpoint
10:22
All the “be kind 💕 peace & love” gary glitter good vibes gang, have stabbed more backs than a roman senate.
Shut the fuck up.
21:29
Never trust seppos. Doesn’t matter how nice they act, how many times they say HEY GUYS with weaponised sincerity a couple decibels too loud. Doesn’t matter if they’re a precious little old lady force feeding you the best Gumbo & cornbread ever, or a 5 year old cutely reciting “liberty and justice for all” with dystopian dead cereal eyes under fluorescent lighting. Doesn’t matter if they go around saying funny things like bOY… JEEZ LUIZ or GOLLY GEE WILLICKERS like a looney tune having an aneurysm. Doesn’t matter how many star warz or founding daddies factoids they harp on about like an endearing bobble-headed funko pop raised entirely on corn syrup & microplastics. They are not your friend. Why?
Because you might be talking to a walking, microwavable BOMB waiting to pop off at any moment. One minute they’re at Walmart buying something probably peanut butter-flavoured and a multipack of novelty socks, the next—BOOM. Deep inside their molar: a Bluetooth detonator connected straight to a concrete hell-pit beneath Nevada, where some creep with beady eyes and jowls slams a red button with his sausage finger. That’s all it takes. One click. Subsonic trigger goes off using a blend of ASMR mukbangs and an Arby’s jingle, or w/e americans like. They black out for 33 minutes and wake up wearing nothing but a tactical vest, holding an AR-15 with a confused smile that’s too wide to explain in court. Every single one is potentially a fully operational Manchurian DEATH PUPPET handcrafted MKUltra experiment wrapped in a star spangly wangler. Do not trust Americans. Especially if you are one.
09:11
Only GOD can cancel me., bitcj
12:23
🤡: “I’m like, pro the thing & shid. Like, anti 
ad thing, but like pro thing & shid 
“
18:45
I could teach a baboon your shitty little sinecure of a job. I could kidnap you then let the baboon take your place for a month. When you return, EVERYONE will say the baboon had better energy
11:49
Haha funni
20:33
People who park their time on social media for weeks/months/years on message boards & forums, are not useful or interesting, and are not people you should listen to for advice, ever.
Listen to me instead. Send your bank details to jingo@atomicyouth dot org.
20:30
Echochamber – check
Looks like they’re made of playdoh and a child clawed downward on the face – check
17:52
Atomic Youth is skint so i’m starting a side hustle selling chinese mineral imports as high quality “healing crystals” to cluster B women.
09:09
Trigger McBang right under the jowls. Big baizuo bitch bullet. Classic brain attack.
15:55
you know a bitch is crazy when she’s got a colouring book.
15:53
If Mother Shipton were alive today, she’d have a shite load of instagram followers and be sponsored by marmite.
08:44
fun fact: down in Australia, Marmite is called “Vaginamite”
23:42
A labyrinthine mirror maze where every reflection is an older version of yourself whispering slurs. You only get out if you correctly identify which one of them is secretly me wearing your dad’s skin
02:00
Booze-Operating_Colin has logged on.
10:18
No, you are not a witch. You’re a clown with a novelty tarot deck and untreated narcissism…
Witches & wizards literally, not metaphorically, blast people with powerful ice spells and fire bolts and psychic damage, which has caused them serious legal trouble with the rogers and the mental health community.
18:25
Silver spoon inbred gracing our screens, treated to the usual book deal & Oprah interview
00:12
Melt the poles and start the apocalypse already.
00:00
You produce more value than you receive back in wages, that value goes to some inbred cyborg midwife living in a gated community, who buys gold trinkets + a good conscience by making an occasional tax deductable donation to charity & moral monologues on social media about how we all need to do better or some friccin shite.
19:58
Every time i insult a sacred cow i grow one baby tooth back. Chaos is anti-aging
22:22
Being a hater keeps the aura clean. No spiritual parasites
19:43
The Wombles were a load of shite. Dossing about Wimbledon Common probably living in tents dropping their rubbish & sandwiches everywhere then pretending to clean everyone’s litter up, bastards.
09:40
Winnie the Pooh was a proper boring bastard.
09:17
Chiggity check yoself, droppin’ bombs on your momz
23:45
Some melt chains into spanners. Others chug L’s by the pint and call the hangover Heritage™️
23:44
Down with the bonce, up with the bollocks.
22:22
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ︻┻┳══━＝＞ •• •• BANG! BANG! •• •• ✨🐄✨
22:20
“irish breakfast” is so funny. Just steal n rename shit, fenian revisionist style.
Spaghetti Bolognese? I tink ya mean O’Stringy McSlop 🇮🇪🍝
Anime? Sushi? Traditional O’Toonz & McBogrolls 🍣. Hiphop? Craic Bars. Algebra? Haggis Maki.
Microsoft Excel? Celtic Columns. Jazz Fusion? Craicwave. Americano?? Native Peatjuice ☕
Hitler? Ar dheis Dé🪦lovely spread. McCuaig’s Bones? uh oh
22:00
Everything is irish if you drink enough.
21:50
Whoever made this, i will kidnap you and carve your search history & every freaky sext you ever sent into your flesh in comic sans, then release you nude at a wholesome family gathering.
09:20
Read all of Aelfwin’s Bleets with the Slow Norris voice
08:34
Alan Moosk establishes starlink connection over california so that creeps can upload their consciousnesses into Imam Zoinkerberg’s Meta-Epstein Island CUBE where 72 AI virgins await.
11:18
You know when you lookup soulless people on faceberg & their profile picture is either a dog, some current event poo trash, or a plate of sweet n sour chicken?
19:42
Tarantino fanboys make me want to travel back in time and abort myself.
18:49
Art ponce with tote bag that says “restorative justice” has a framed Clockwork Orange poster.
doesn’t realise the entire story is about how you can’t fix criminals or manufacture morality by turning people into government robo-fruits. You’d ban the book and sign a petition to double his dose, dweeb.
11:40
Remember when Johnny met Adolf and said he smells like “Werther’s Originals and old people”
13:04
Boring, labially incompetent, grey-faced neckbeards in shirt & tie trying to sell you the latest pointless tech gadget for boring, labially incompetent, grey-faced neckbeards in cargo shorts.
21:45
Calling out Beyonce for a fight.
21:22
Whoever made that shitty background jingle in so many youtube tutorials with the mindless ting tong xylophone & strumming major chords on a ukulele.. i want to superglue their eyelids shut & force feed them miniscule amounts of ground glass until they cough up blood for the rest of their natural life.
18:37
If you drink heavily & squint reeeeally hard you can almost understand Johnny’s glitching monkey medieval banana philosophy
09:51
09:41
Piss off